30

 

It's funny, how much life has changed in this past year. 

I've grown so much, and looking back ten years ago when I was awaiting the turning of 20, and now 30. It seems so big, but it's just a number. Because when that day passes, every day feels the same as the one you are currently living. Things have definitely changed, but the person at the core is the soul living in this body on this earth. That hasn't changed, yes we evolve and we adapt to everyday life. But you don't feel like you've gotten any older, you just feel like you've always been and always will be. 

Looking back at that young girl, 10 years ago. I put so much pressure on myself, I was so eager to learn and to experience life and so naive in a lot of ways. I've had to learn a lot of hard lessons, without anyone's help but my own even when people were walking beside me and close to me. I was really the only person dealing with those issues on such a deep level.

If I could say some things to that 20-year-old girl, it would be to slow down and appreciate life as it comes.

To stop sweating the little things like making rent, because you're going to be okay.

To love yourself more, and to take care of yourself in all ways

Do not sacrifice yourself because you think that will give you friendship

To love life and to live in the moment

That you do make a difference in people's lives

That the world works in crazy ways

You will find your people and while you are still searching you know they will come when the time is right.

That you don't need to change or alter yourself to be liked

To stand up for yourself when you believe in something

It's not that big or grand

Everyone has their own timeline and it's not linear. And though it feels like a big deal now, it won't be in ten years when you are sitting on your couch reminiscing and writing this letter to yourself. 

The last thing I would say

That I'm proud of you. So damn proud, not for the things you accomplished or the milestones you hit. But because through all of the sadness, the turmoil, betrayal and hardships you never lost the one thing that matters, your kindness and love for life. That 20-year-old was and is beautiful and life is really only beginning.

And to all the others who are turning 30,40,50, whatever age it is, Happy Gemini Season! We really do get a bad rap.

And Happy Birthday, here's to another milestone we are hitting because we are alive.